Monthly Musings [a linkup]

Spending Thanksgiving as an American expat is weird. Christmas is different - it's hard being away from our family in the US, but at least the holiday is celebrated, and some familiar things like nativity scenes and Christmas carols help make me feel more homey. Thanksgiving is kind of like Independence Day. The day comes and goes like any other. No one is off work. No one is celebrating. I had a very hard time my first Thanksgiving outside of the US, during which our Thanksgiving dinner had to be postponed for about 7 weeks.

Thanksgiving dinner in the dining room of a ship in the Philippines, 2006

Since then, with help from Rodgers, I try to introduce the holiday to my non-American friends. It is a lot of work for me in the kitchen, but so much fun! We get to teach a tiny bit of American history and introduce our friends to some super yummy American foods. It helps that I make cornbread dressing and the staple food here is corn (as in maize). The dressing and turkey are always eaten up very quickly. Not so much the veggies, but that's ok with me - I can eat creamy green beans for days!

Our first Thanksgiving in Kenya, 2012

As Christians, it is important to us to have a day set aside to particularly focus on giving thanks to God for providing for us. Of course, we give thanks every day, every time we pray. But we have holidays to pay special attention. We celebrate Christmas to pay special attention to the coming of Christ. We celebrate Easter to pay special attention to Jesus' death and resurrection, even though we worship on Sundays every week for the same reason. In Deuteronomy, the Hebrews were commanded to celebrate God's provision for seven days! (The Feast of Tabernacles) We don't personally celebrate the Jewish feasts, but I believe Thanksgiving Day serves the same purpose to us as the Feast of Tabernacles.

Our second Thanksgiving in Kenya, 2013

We invite Christian friends to celebrate with us. We thank God for what he has done for us, for the ways he has worked in all of our lives, for the ways he has made his presence known in the world around us. We eat before the Lord our God, and we rejoice! (Deut 12:7)

This is a monthly linkup. Check it out for more musings about thankfulness:

Advent 2014

I love suspense movies and books. And TV shows. Suspense is fun. Alfred Hitchcock is quoted as saying, "There is no terror in the bang, only in the anticipation of it." In the same way, as a lover of Christmas, I enjoy the days leading up to Christmas so much. Not that Christmas is terrifying. There is fun in the anticipation. And Suspense's last name is Anticipation.

This anticipation, the expectant waiting, is what Advent is about. Thus, we have an Advent calendar. As we anticipate the arrival of Christmas Day, we do Advent readings as a family and focus on what Christmas is about, why it's all about Jesus, and who Jesus is anyway.

This year we are using the same short Scripture readings for each day, December 1 - 24, that we used last year. We start with some prophecies, move on to the gospels (particularly who John the Baptist said Jesus is and how Jesus describes himself), and conclude in Paul's letters. I print out the list, cut the days apart, and tuck each one into a pocket of our Advent calendar, with the tree ornament for that day. You can find my printable file below, if you want to follow along! Or if you prefer to follow digitally, follow Maisha Kamili on Twitter or Facebook. I will post each day's reading, as well as posts for the 4 Sundays of Advent on the Maisha Kamili blog.

The boys are very eager to get the new ornament out each day. They bring me the slip of paper and I read the designated Scripture as they place the ornament.

Click for the pdf.

In past years, I've done a daily blog post Advent guide. If you're looking for a different kind of Advent reading, flip through some of these:
Advent 2013 (Dec 1) || Advent 2012 (Dec 1) || Advent 2010 (Dec 1)

Mamas Tell All: The Perfect Mama [Blog linkup]

I was still in high school when I started learning about "The Perfect Mama," via Bible studies on Proverbs 31. During pregnancy and as a new mom, lots of people had advice for me. I've written before about how this advice - even so-called expert advice - doesn't always agree. It's impossible to be absolutely perfect because perfect according to Expert A is harmful according to Expert B. Even if they did agree, we all know that no one will ever achieve perfection. However, an idea of what perfection is will give us a goal to work towards.

At my baby shower for Nate, I was given a small scrapbook. Before they gave it to me, they passed around a few of the pages for the attendees to write parenting advice for me. There were a lot of sweet blessings and "cherish every moment" (which is impossible - some moments aren't cherish-able!). But there was also much more than that. What I see in this advice, and I what I've learned through experience, is that perfection as a mom is not so much in what we do, but in our faith in God, in our sanctification in Christ, in our eternal perspective. The things we do are important, but the good things will flow out from God at work within us when we are disciplined followers of Jesus.

Here is my favorite advice, some which helps me identify what I want to be like, and some which was just very helpful during the infant stage.

Patience is the one thing I learned right off the bat. Patience with labor, crying, husbands, countless diapers.

Never be afraid to hold and rock your baby as much as you want. Many times when a baby cries, he just needs warmth and comfort that only you can provide. You won't spoil him!

Always look to God for guidance. He has wonderful plans for you.

The most important thing I can think of is to love your children. Spoil them with love, and I know you will bring them up to love the Lord Jesus. 

Truly the greatest gift God has given me is the privilege to be a wife and a mother. I have learned so much about the character of God through the lives of my children. One of the things I have learned as a mother is that God loves my children even more than I do...He is trustworthy! He will give us wisdom concerning our children, as well.

Remember that the Scripture says, "Raise up your child in the way he should grow and when he's old he will not go away from it." Because I'm the oldest one at your shower, please let me encourage you to begin early to teach your child the Word and prayer. The Word will get him through life, prayer will help him have a personal relationship with Jesus. These will take him through his entire life no matter what comes.

8 scriptures to pray over our marriage

Five years ago today, we got married in the rain.

I love praying Scripture. As an introvert, I don't always have words to say, even in prayer. I do pray my own words, but many times, especially with specific requests, I have found verses in the Bible that express what I am praying, and I use them as a starting point for my prayers. What better starting point than the Bible? It's not just for introverts, either!

how I ended up here

When you have no water running for weeks and months, you have to go get your own water.

I recently sketched a timeline of events in my life and before my life through which God has brought me where I am today. It definitely started before I was born.

Before I was born, my dad gave up his career at IBM to finish his bachelor's degree, go through seminary, and become a pastor. Before that, his grandmother had been praying for years (decades?) that one of her children or grandchildren would become a pastor.

Because of that, I decided I would not go into vocational ministry nor would I marry someone who was. It's not a comfortable life! I knew that as a PK (pastor's kid).

handwashing our clothes post-housekeeper, pre-washing machine

So how did I end up here anyway? I could have written this blog post about PKs and why they either "go awry" or not. Just substitute a few details here and there and you have my experience. As I read that post, I thought of a few reasons, and they are the same as the ones Dale gives for himself:

• My parents practiced what they preached. (My sidenote: In conversations with fellow PKs, parents not practicing what they preach is the #1 reason PKs give for deciding Jesus is not for them, though my survey is limited to the handful of atheist and agnostic PKs I have known.) 
• My dad and mom spent time with me.
• I was able to see past the negative side of ministry.
• I made a personal choice to follow Christ and my faith became my own.

Seeing past the negative side of ministry took time, and I tested it out by starting with a 2 year commitment to Wycliffe and OM before I got married. I knew I could survive 2 years, and if it was too hard or too much, I could go back to trying to start a career. But I found my place beyond the negatives (though I complained about a lot of things along the way).

In addition to my trial experience, I remember one particular sermon/lecture from my dad that stayed on my mind as I was deciding. (Actually, I still think about it when I find myself longing for the comfort of, say, reliable utilities or the convenience of online shopping. I can still hear his voice, "They find a way to be comfortable...") I don't even remember whether my siblings were present or if it was a private sermon. Dad was talking about the human tendency to crave comfort, but that pursuing comfort comes with sacrifice, too. Many have sacrificed what they felt God calling them to do because what God was calling them to would have required sacrificing comfort. Following God requires sacrifice: true. But not following God is a sacrifice. And a big one.

One of many verses from the Bible that confirmed Rodgers' and my dream was from God.

Not that a good job and house in the suburbs are bad or wrong. Not that everyone is supposed to take a vow of poverty. The point was that sometimes God calls us to give up some things in order to "seek first the Kingdom...and all these things will be added to you." (see Matthew 6:19-34)

"But when God calls...you have to make a choice. You can say "yes" or you can walk away from His will for your life. After struggling for months, I made the choice to say "yes" to God's plan for my life.
"I said that to say this. At the end of the day, each person must decide for themselves if they will follow Christ or not. Yes, godly parents do make a difference and help cultivate the soil, but they cannot make the decision for their child." (also from that blog post)

It's easy for people to see that we have sacrificed comfort to live this life. (How many weeks did we live without running water in our house?) What they don't see is that, had we chosen comfort, we would be sacrificing so much more.

3 ways to abide

[Today I'm linking up with We Are THAT Family's Works for Me Wednesday bloghop.]

Anytime I see a blog post or a pin on Pinterest about spending time with God while being a mom of small children, I have to read it. It is a constant struggle! There are not many minutes in a day that pass without someone calling for mom. (Took me all morning to write this...) I am always looking for tips from other moms to try out myself. What works for them? Can that fit into my days with my boys?

One of the recurring "this is the most important thing" tips is to get up an hour before your kids do. I don't know how this is actually possible. When I'm up early, the boys just know, and they are up, too. They can sleep through a train wreck overnight, but the sound of my feet on the floor anytime after 4 am wakes them up. Then chaos ensues because they are just so energetic in the mornings. It's not time for breakfast yet. There's nothing for them to do but run from one side of the house to the other and back. If I sleep in and let them wake me up, we all get up about 6:15. It's difficult for this not-a-morning-person to deal with all that energy at 6:15, but it's definitely more bearable then than it is at 5:15. Plus, it's late enough that we can start breakfast, and giving them something to do helps focus their energy on something other than running. I'm hoping that as they get older this will change. For now, me getting up before them for quiet time doesn't work. Here are 3 things that do work for me:

Family devotions. Just before bed every night, we have devotions together as a family. This is the easiest to keep up with because it actively involves the boys - so they aren't interrupting! Though we experience God through these times, it is not enough Bible study for Rodgers and me to end here. We have The Beginner's Bible, which is not a translation of the Bible. It is about 90 Bible stories, based only on the Bible, without artistic license (though they do skip over some heavier subjects, like adultery), hitting the main points from Genesis to Revelation. Reading one a day, we get through the Bible every 3 months. Because it's written for preschoolers, there are lots of pictures and each story is short enough for their attention spans. As they get older, we'll move on to reading passages directly from the Bible. Then we read the day's reading from Jesus Wants All of Me, which is My Utmost for His Highest paraphrased for small children. It is great! We talk about what our reading teaches us about God. We also work on memorizing Scripture, we sing worship songs, and we pray together.

Audio Bible. I love reading. I used to read through the Bible every year. Since I would inevitably miss days, and I hated getting behind in my reading plan, I put together my own plan that leaves a little wiggle room. I think it's 327 days of reading. I could do each day's reading in about 15 minutes. Now, with interruptions from my kids at least every 45 seconds, I would sit down for a 15 minute Bible reading and realize an hour later that I wasn't even halfway through it. (This is where being able to get up before them in the morning would be handy.) Now I use You Version on my phone and play the audio for the day's reading as I'm cooking breakfast or getting Nate dressed for school or doing my morning chores. I'm less likely to be interrupted when I'm visibly doing something, and I can bring it with me and keep listening while helping the boys with whatever they interrupted me for.

Making the most of nap time. One great thing about early risers is that they still have to take naps. Ben is not even close to giving up naps. During the school term, Nate is so exhausted that he still takes long naps on the weekends. During break, he didn't take a nap every day, but he would at least lay down and look at books for a long enough time that I could do my Bible study. It's the only uninterrupted time I get during the day. When I'm very ambitious, I do Bible study, exercise, and start dinner. But if all I get done is Bible study, that's enough.

One more I'm working on. I spend time in prayer during my Bible study, but I also want to pray continually, as I go about my day. I have a reminder pop up on my phone. I have lists posted where I will see them, but it is still hard to keep it in the front of my mind. I am still working on this one.

praying for our kids

A few months ago, I read a blog post on a moms of boys blog (The MOB Society). I don't remember what it was, but I related to it, as a mom of boys. I started following their Facebook page.

A lot of the things posted apply to both boys and girls, actually, but there is a related page called The MOD Squad, which is for moms of daughters. MOB discuss all aspects of life with boy children in the house - from practical tips like effective ways to organize a Lego collection to daily devotionals to read with your kids.

Right now, MOB is encouraging its followers to choose 1 verse of scripture to pray for their sons all year long. Rodgers and I chose Jeremiah 9:24.

but let him who boasts boast in this, that he understands and knows me, that I am the Lord who practices steadfast love, justice, and righteousness in the earth. For in these things I delight, declares the Lord.

Our prayer is that Nate and Ben come to know and understand God.

Gideons

This is about the organization Gideons International, not about guys named Gideon. 

The first Gideon I can remember coming to speak at my church had one hand. His other hand was a hook. Being an amputee has nothing to do with being a Gideon. Gideons distribute Bibles in hotels, schools, prisons, and hospitals. But in my head, they are also kind of pirate-y. Because of the hook thing. That was my first impression. (Not that it's a bad thing - this is the way my mind works.)

There was a Gideon in church Sunday, talking about the work they are doing in the area. Rodgers mentioned to him that he is always in schools and could very easily help out in the Kilifi and Malindi areas.

I told him that if he's going to work with the Gideons, he needs to get an eye patch or a peg leg or something. Maybe a talking parrot.

church hunting

The population of Kilifi is only about 50,000 people, and a significant percentage of that are foreign nationals. Driving around town, you see white people everywhere. There are hundreds, if not thousands, of non-Kenyans here.

With this in mind, we thought it would be simple to find a church with an English worship service, or even an all English-speaking church. This has not been the case!

Just before moving, we had started going to an all English-speaking church there, which we really loved, and we have toyed with the idea of spending Sundays in Mombasa. However, then we would miss the opportunity of being involved in a local church and its ministry in Kilifi.

We've talked with pastors of several churches. They say, "Well, we used to have an English service, but then the people who were leading it moved, so we stopped." They tell us that the people who used to attend those services now drive all the way to Mombasa for church. They don't seem to care, either.

In this town, you don't need to know Swahili to go shopping, to get a haircut, to have a dress made, to get your house repaired, to go to the bank, to put something in the mail, to eat in a restaurant. Schools are taught in English in Kenya (they don't just teach English as a class - classes are taught in English), and people speak English in their businesses in order to get business from foreigners. But the churches won't speak English to minister to these people?

Two churches we know of have English worship services. One is at 7 a.m. We have not made it to that one. The other is the Anglican church. The first time we went, we thought maybe it was an odd Sunday because the service was so not like a worship service. 35 minutes of announcements. Offering and 1 hymn. Then small group Bible study. No preaching. Also, awkward trying to join in a small group Bible study when you have no idea what's going on and have 2 small children in tow. We went back today, and it was exactly the same, so we're beginning to think that's just the way they do things.

Rodgers has left his phone number with some other pastors, "Call me if you want someone to start an English service again." Now we're not sure what to do.

family praise history

Around the time Nate was born, Rodgers' and my Bible study class was studying prayer. Our study leader mentioned a great prayer study course called Disciple's PrayerLife, which was out of print. I mentioned this to my mom, and she said that about 20 years ago, she and my dad had done this study, and she still had her notebook. She gave it to me, and I managed to start week 1 during my maternity leave, but that was as far as I got. I really wanted to do the study, though, so it was one of the few books I brought with me when we moved here. I recently started it again.

During week 5, it teaches about a life of gratitude which involves (of course) expressing gratitude in prayer. Throughout the Old Testament, we see the Israelites singing the history of what God has done for them: rescuing them from Egypt, parting the Red Sea, providing manna in the desert. One of the assignments in week 5 is to write a praise history with your family. Recount the major things that God has done for your family, use scripture to thank and praise God, and read this as a family at least once a year, adding on to it as you go. This is about major events or blessings that have impacted your family. This is about a big picture perspective. We are to be thankful daily for "small" blessings as well, those things which we possibly take for granted. However, the praise history is for big, major things.

I love this idea, so I shared it with Rodgers, and he loves it, too. We wasted no time writing our family's history, starting with our marriage, though there are many big things that God did in each of our lives, before we got married, which impact our family. We may yet go back and add some of those. For now, I am just including our personal salvation. Since we'll be reading this as a family, I'm referring to us as "Dad and Mom." We are planning to to read through and add to our praise history every New Year's Eve, as a family tradition.

[God] chose us in him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and blameless before him.
—Ephesians 1:4 

For it is God who works in you, both to will and to work for his good pleasure.
—Philippians 2:13 

Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good, for his steadfast love endures forever.
—Psalm 136:1  

family and life events

• As children, Dad and Mom both gave their lives to Christ
• Dad and Mom got married
• Dad was given permanent resident status in the US, miraculously hassle-free
• Dad graduated from UMHB
• Nathanael was born, active and spirited
• Benjamin was born, goofy, but thoughtful
• God sustained us financially through low paying jobs, unemployment, and beyond

He who calls you is faithful; he will surely do it.
—1 Thessalonians 5:24

The Lord is my strength and my song, and he has become my salvation; this is my God, and I will praise him, my father's God, and I will exalt him.
—Exodus 15:2 

Great are the works of the Lord, studied by all who delight in them.
—Psalm 111:2 

31 Therefore do not be anxious, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ 32 For the Gentiles seek after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them all. 33 But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.
—Matthew 6:31-33

maisha kamili [www.maishakamili.org]

• Maisha Kamili was dreamed up, at the encouragement of our pastor
• Maisha Kamili board was formed
• We moved to Camp to prepare for moving to Kenya
• We received the remaining 60% of our fundraising goal at once, making us financially able to move to Kenya
• We moved to Kenya to start Maisha Kamili
• Maisha Kamili began sponsoring community MKKs
• We had great support (in many forms) of Maisha Kamili during our trip to Texas in 2013

And I am sure of this, that he who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ.
—Philippians 1:6 

He remembers his covenant forever, the word that he commanded, for a thousand generations.
—Psalm 105:8 

You have led in your steadfast love the people whom you have redeemed; you have guided them by your strength to your holy abode.
—Exodus 15:13

And my God will supply every need of yours according to his riches in glory in Christ Jesus.
—Philippians 4:19 

By faith Abraham obeyed when he was called to go out to a place that he was to receive as an inheritance. And he went out, not knowing where he was going.
—Hebrews 11:8

discipleship and spiritual growth

• Dad and Mom took discipleship courses and learned to disciple others
• We started teaching discipleship classes at one church in Kenya, with 2 others to join in the next year

Who is like the Lord our God, who is seated on high?
—Psalm 113:5 

1 Praise the Lord! Praise the name of the Lord, give praise, O servants of the Lord, 5 For I know that the Lord is great, and that our Lord is above all gods.
—Psalm 135:1, 5 

Who is like you, O Lord, among the gods? Who is like you, majestic in holiness, awesome in glorious deeds, doing wonders?
—Exodus 15:11  

1 Oh give thanks to the Lord; call upon his name; make known his deeds among the peoples! 2 Sing to him, sing praises to him; tell of all his wondrous works! 3 Glory in his holy name; let the hearts of those who seek the Lord rejoice! 4 Seek the Lord and his strength; seek his presence continually! 5 Remember the wondrous works that he has done.
—Psalm 105:1-5a

bragging

Happy to report that my scripture memory efforts with Nate have been going very well! He loves memorizing Bible verses. I introduce a new one every week. They are just portions of verses, keeping things simple for him. When I tell him it's time to practice, he wants to recite all of them that he's memorized so far, not just the current one we're working on. It is very fun.

Ephesians 4:32


Proverbs 30:5 (probably his favorite because he loves being silly for the "proobs twoo" (proves true) part)


Proverbs 3:5 - this week's verse


and just for fun...

Scripture memory

You know how your kid repeats everything you say, especially what you didn't want them to hear, even days after you said it? Toddlers seem to have a knack for memorizing - I'm sure there's a child development something that causes this, language acquisition or whatever. Nate quotes lines from his favorite TV shows, movies, books, and things that we tell him repeatedly.

A few months ago (23 weeks according to Pinterest), I pinned these two children's memory verse posts.
30 Easy Bible Memory Verses for Children
10 Easy Bible Memory Verses for Kids

Yesterday, I finally introduced Nate to Scripture memory. I have a mirror my sister made (not the glass itself, but the mosaic frame). Since we can't put nails in our walls (rental, there are some existing nails we can use to hang pictures), and it needs 2 nails, I can't hang it on the wall. It's sitting on a window sill, not where you can actually see yourself in the mirror, unless you enjoy putting yourself in awkward positions. We have some dry erase markers. I wrote Nate's first memory verse on the mirror. I can see it all day and remind him of it.

We do a repeat-after-me style of memorization.

learning to pray

As Nate learns to pray, we are focusing on thanksgiving. My thoughts on this are that I don't want his introduction to prayer to be asking God for things, but also thanks is a simple aspect of prayer for him to understand.

I adore Nate's prayers. I have never told him what to pray. Rather, I pray thanks for various aspects of our day and our lives, then I tell him he can have a turn, too. He prays whatever he wants. Sometimes he prays things that are very sweet. Sometimes he prays things that an adult would never thank God for (but might be thinking!).

Occasionally, I write Nate's prayers down in my prayer journal. They are things I want to remember in years to come, but there is no space for this in his baby book.

Tonight, Nate prayed:

Thank you, Jesus, I had fun playing in the dirt. Thank you for Daddy, and for Ben, and for Nate, and for Mama, and for poop, and for chocolate, and for Don and the [con]ductor [characters from Dinosaur Train]. Amen.