new url

Starting in 2015, I will be posting from akenyantexanfamily.blogspot.com. I know how annoying it is to have to update your readers -- pole sana (very sorry)! I've been using this as our identity on this blog for a long time, now and I want to reflect it in the url. This blog will stay open, so that any links to old posts won't be lost, but all new posts will be over there. I'm importing parts of this blog over there, from about the time we started getting ready to move to Kenya, as well as some older posts about Kenya and being a mixed family.

The (Kenyan) Christmas Song

If The Christmas Song (Chestnuts Roasting on an Open Fire) had been written in Kenya:

Cashews roasting on an open fire
Hot sun scorching all the rest
Christian songs being sung by a choir
And folks dressed up in Sunday best

Ev'rybody knows some freshly made treats
Help to start the day off right
Tiny tots with their tummies full of meat
Will all sleep in peace tonight

Because the pilau is on its way
Baked with a goat slaughtered today
And ev'ry mother's child is gonna try
To sneak some extra bites on the sly

And so I'm offering this simple phrase
To kids from 1 to 92
Although it's been said many times, many ways
Merry Christmas to you!

And Merry Christmas from the MKKs:

2014

January

Nate turned 4 in January, and we pondered over how it was possible that 4

years had passed since that very eventful day when he came into the world.

My parents also made their second trip to Kenya in January. We took them
several new places, including Arabuko-Sokoke forest and Sabaki River.
And of course, we took some trips to the beach!

February

The highlight of February was Nate's half-term break.
We headed to Malindi for a long weekend. We spent our time in the pool,
on the beach, and at ice cream and pizza parlors, per Nate and Ben's request.

March

March is hot. While coping with the heat, we got ready for our trip to the US!

April

We went to Texas! It was a longer visit this time than the last time we went,
with break time worked in throughout the weeks we were there.
We started our trip with a real vacation - fun family time with no work on the side!

May

It seems (from the outside) that our time in the US should betotally relaxing -
after all, we aren't home cleaning our house, cooking for ourselves, keeping up
with the daily grind, and we're in the most comfortable place on earth (the US).
But, we are on the go all the time. We took a few days off here
and there, but it was still a tiring month of travel and visits.
Nate and Ben really, really love Texas.

 June

The end of our US trip. At one point I calculated the number
of miles we traveled, excluding trips within the towns we were staying in
at different times, just from one stop to another around the state.
I don't remember what it was anymore. Thousands. Texas is big,
and we didn't even make it to west Texas, the panhandle, the valley...
Nate got back to school almost as soon as we were home. He missed it so much!

July 

We got back in to the swing of life here.
The Maisha Kamili Transition Home became fully functional,
eventually housing 4 transitioners.

August

Kenya's school breaks are in April, August, and November-December.
While Nate was on break, we took a family trip to Nairobi to
renew his passport. We stayed an extra day or two to take
advantage of time in the Big City.

September

This was the beginning of the last school term in which
Ben would not be in school yet. We also celebrated him turning 3!

October

We started going to church in Malindi this year. It is quite a drive to make
(several times a week), but we feel it is a place we can
serve usefully. We are all making new friends, which is
something we really needed (especially me!).

 November

We celebrated Thanksgiving with great friends!
It was the best Thanksgiving I've ever had outside of the US.

December

With schools closed and many people on leave, December has
brought a lot of visits with friends!
We will spend Christmas with Rodgers' family, followed by a
Skype with my family during their Christmas celebration. 

It's hot, we haven't had running water for weeks,
Nate and Ben have spent way too much time with each other since schools
let out last month and they are getting on each other's (and my) nerves,
people disappoint us, we disappoint ourselves, but God is here.
He has brought us a long way this year, and he continues to
mold and shape us into the likeness of Jesus.
The year was good because God is. 

Santa is not that critical

Rodgers grew up without Santa Claus at all - he doesn't come to Kenya. I grew up with a fictional Santa, but we didn't believe in him - my parents' choice. Rodgers and I saw no reason to have our kids believe in Santa. We both feel Christmas is full without him. Not surprisingly, complete strangers have Very Important Opinions about this. And you know what? If you are on the other side, other complete strangers have Very Important Opinions about that. It's not unlike...well everything else that goes along with using social media as a parent. Sure some people will say these things to you in person, but with social media, you get read complete strangers' opinions about how you're ruining your children's lives from the comfort of your own sofa, at any hour of the day or night.

My sister posted this on Facebook yesterday, which I felt is one of the most well-thought-out pieces on why not to believe in Santa. The post itself is not judgmental, but there are always judgmental comments on posts like this. For what it's worth, I love that post and agree with all of her points, especially numbers 1 and 4 (and even more the first one since we live in a country where there is no Santa - I mean, can you imagine the American kids not only getting more Christmas gifts from their parents but also being the only kids in town visited by Santa?!).

(the whole bit in gifs here on imgur)

Later yesterday, Christianity Today posted this one, which is a bit more inflammatory (tactic to ensure more people will click on it). The title says that your kids should believe in Santa, whereas the previous one just said that their kids don't. While I agree with the conclusion on that post (that Jesus communicated truth using parables to appeal to the imagination through fiction, and other fiction can be used the same way), I don't agree that believing fiction is real is necessary.

There are a zillion other posts, from both sides. Some simply state the practice of the particular family, like the first post I linked to. Others tell you why you (and, more importantly, your kids) would be better off adopting their viewpoint. Regardless, the comments are predictable:

"HOW COULD YOU LIE TO YOUR KIDS?!"
"HOW COULD YOU DEPRIVE YOUR KIDS OF THE MAGIC OF CHRISTMAS?!"
"Your kid is going to ruin Christmas for all the other kids!"
"Your kids only behave because of that creepy elf? How sad."
"There's enough reality when you're an adult. Let the kids have some fun."
"Well, I grew up not believing in Santa, and I'm just fine."
"Well, I grew up believing in Santa, and I'm just fine."

Let's focus a little on the last two comments.

While there are people who feel deprived to not have experienced believing in Santa, and there are people who felt betrayed when they found out their parents had lied about Santa, for the most part, it just doesn't matter much. It's not that critical.

And if people comment to you in ALL CAPS that it is that critical, that what you're doing will Ruin Christmas or Deprive Your Kids, just imagine them like Little John because this is what they're fighting over.

Lamu

Lamu from a boat

Liz and me in a boat taxi

Since becoming parents, I have done many an overnight with the kids without Rodgers. I have spent some nights away from the kids, with Rodgers. But I have never left them with him overnight. It's not that I didn't want to, I just had no reason to - nowhere to go without them. Until...

My friend said she wanted to take me to Lamu, where she grew up, and we actually put it on the calendar and started planning it. And did it! My very first ladies' getaway for 4 days and 3 nights, and it was everything I dreamed it would be. The boys called me at least twice a day, and Rodgers and I texted pictures back and forth to each other. I did miss them, but the break was extremely welcome!

boats

donkeys hauling sand from the Indian Ocean side of the
island to a construction site in town

We took a bus. It takes about 7 hours from Kilifi. The road is not paved the whole way, but actually the unpaved part of the road is smoother than some of the "paved" part! The bus takes you all the way to Mokowe. Then, you hop on a boat to cross to Lamu Island.

Lamu's biggest industry has been tourism, but recently, that industry has been suffering tremendously. Until two weeks ago, they had been under a 6 pm curfew enforcement. No one wants to go on vacation and be stuck in their hotel room for the night starting at 6 pm. The curfew has now been pushed back to 10 pm.

empty mkokoteni on the seaside road

around 4 o'clock every day, they roll out the mats and play bao

Everyone told me how happy they were to see a tourist in Lamu again. Restaurants have only been keeping the basics stocked so that they don't waste money on ingredients that won't be used. Artisans are selling other things in their shops because there aren't any tourists to buy souvenirs. The economy is really suffering from the lack of tourists. We did our part to stimulate the economy: stayed in a hotel, ate in restaurants, shopped, went to the museum, used boat taxis, and shopped some more.

Lamu is famous for having no cars on the island. The only way to get to the island is by boat. There are no bridges. There is only one road that can accommodate a car, anyway (we saw 2 cars and a tractor using it). The other streets are narrow corridors between buildings. This trait, probably more than anything else, has caused ancient culture to be preserved. They say Mombasa and Zanzibar started much like Lamu, but because they've made way for roads and cars, much of the old culture of the town is lost. Walking the streets of Lamu today is not much different than walking the streets of Lamu 400 years ago. The main differences being that now there are power lines overhead and everyone carries a cell phone. Also, within the main part of town, all of the streets are paved and there is a drainage system in place.

This one's actually not so narrow.

The main method for getting around town is walking. If you have a load, there are mkokotenis (the cart in the picture above), but they don't navigate the streets quite as smoothly as the donkeys. Lamu claims the highest number of donkeys per capita in the world. They use them to transport loads of sand or whatever else they need carried, including themselves! It's not uncommon to see donkeys roaming around unattended when they are off-duty.

off-duty donkeys

donkeys bringing the sand through town
The street wasn't wide enough for us and them, so we hopped
up on someone's front stoop. They all have benches outside
their front doors, where they sit in the evenings.

There are 3 cities on the island, all along the coast. The center of the island is orchards of mangoes and coconuts. You might be able to walk through the orchards to get from one town to the next, but why do that when you can get a boat taxi? This is the fastest mode of transport on the island. My friend's parents live on the outskirts of town, and we were staying in a hotel right in the middle of town. We walked to and from a couple of times, but it is far. Our last visit with them, we were so tired when we left, we just walked to the beach and got a boat taxi to take us back to town center. Much better!

our captain for the time we stayed
We called him any time we needed a ride.

My cultural experiences included: labania (a sort of cardamom praline made in Witu, on the road to Lamu), kahawa tamu (local spiced coffee that has more sugar than coffee in it) mixed with kahawa tungu (unsweetened local coffee, which they didn't think I could handle, but which I had the following day without the tamu mixed in because good gracious! the sugar!), and henna. Also we walked all over town one day, with a guide who pointed out some of the old architectural traits like door carvings and coral facades. He took us to some of the historic homes that have been converted to guest houses and past an old, but still-functioning water well (the kind you draw with a bucket, rope, and pulley).

henna in progress

posing in the street/corridor

Rodgers is a little jealous because this is part of his own country he has never visited. I have an invitation from our friend's parents to bring my family to visit them. The dad actually asked me to bring my family for Christmas this year, which is not possible. Maybe we can try for a family visit to Lamu next year.

Monthly Musings [a linkup]

Spending Thanksgiving as an American expat is weird. Christmas is different - it's hard being away from our family in the US, but at least the holiday is celebrated, and some familiar things like nativity scenes and Christmas carols help make me feel more homey. Thanksgiving is kind of like Independence Day. The day comes and goes like any other. No one is off work. No one is celebrating. I had a very hard time my first Thanksgiving outside of the US, during which our Thanksgiving dinner had to be postponed for about 7 weeks.

Thanksgiving dinner in the dining room of a ship in the Philippines, 2006

Since then, with help from Rodgers, I try to introduce the holiday to my non-American friends. It is a lot of work for me in the kitchen, but so much fun! We get to teach a tiny bit of American history and introduce our friends to some super yummy American foods. It helps that I make cornbread dressing and the staple food here is corn (as in maize). The dressing and turkey are always eaten up very quickly. Not so much the veggies, but that's ok with me - I can eat creamy green beans for days!

Our first Thanksgiving in Kenya, 2012

As Christians, it is important to us to have a day set aside to particularly focus on giving thanks to God for providing for us. Of course, we give thanks every day, every time we pray. But we have holidays to pay special attention. We celebrate Christmas to pay special attention to the coming of Christ. We celebrate Easter to pay special attention to Jesus' death and resurrection, even though we worship on Sundays every week for the same reason. In Deuteronomy, the Hebrews were commanded to celebrate God's provision for seven days! (The Feast of Tabernacles) We don't personally celebrate the Jewish feasts, but I believe Thanksgiving Day serves the same purpose to us as the Feast of Tabernacles.

Our second Thanksgiving in Kenya, 2013

We invite Christian friends to celebrate with us. We thank God for what he has done for us, for the ways he has worked in all of our lives, for the ways he has made his presence known in the world around us. We eat before the Lord our God, and we rejoice! (Deut 12:7)

This is a monthly linkup. Check it out for more musings about thankfulness:

Advent 2014

I love suspense movies and books. And TV shows. Suspense is fun. Alfred Hitchcock is quoted as saying, "There is no terror in the bang, only in the anticipation of it." In the same way, as a lover of Christmas, I enjoy the days leading up to Christmas so much. Not that Christmas is terrifying. There is fun in the anticipation. And Suspense's last name is Anticipation.

This anticipation, the expectant waiting, is what Advent is about. Thus, we have an Advent calendar. As we anticipate the arrival of Christmas Day, we do Advent readings as a family and focus on what Christmas is about, why it's all about Jesus, and who Jesus is anyway.

This year we are using the same short Scripture readings for each day, December 1 - 24, that we used last year. We start with some prophecies, move on to the gospels (particularly who John the Baptist said Jesus is and how Jesus describes himself), and conclude in Paul's letters. I print out the list, cut the days apart, and tuck each one into a pocket of our Advent calendar, with the tree ornament for that day. You can find my printable file below, if you want to follow along! Or if you prefer to follow digitally, follow Maisha Kamili on Twitter or Facebook. I will post each day's reading, as well as posts for the 4 Sundays of Advent on the Maisha Kamili blog.

The boys are very eager to get the new ornament out each day. They bring me the slip of paper and I read the designated Scripture as they place the ornament.

Click for the pdf.

In past years, I've done a daily blog post Advent guide. If you're looking for a different kind of Advent reading, flip through some of these:
Advent 2013 (Dec 1) || Advent 2012 (Dec 1) || Advent 2010 (Dec 1)

Mamas Tell All: Maintaining a Healthy Lifestyle [a linkup]

during one anti-sleep phase, Rodgers would sleep on the couch
and let Nate play in the living room. Nate would end up
crashing somewhere like this eventually. Always entertaining!

...when you have children.

The three main components in physical health are sleep, nutrition, and exercise. The problems with being healthy when you have kids are many. Here's how I deal with them!

sleep 

Kids don't sleep when you need them to. They eventually start sleeping through the night, then have sleep regressions due to cognitive development, teething, illness, name it. Both of our kids had their last major sleep regression around age 30 months (2 1/2 years). Now they may wake up during the night occasionally, but for the most part we sleep through the night.

After Nate was born, we started going to bed way earlier to make sure we got enough sleep. Rodgers wakes up before dawn, so he tends to take a nap in the evenings. I am not a good napper, so I have to get all of my sleep overnight. I sleep until the kids wake me up, which is usually around 6:15.

It was obviously much harder with infants. However, since they were bottle fed, we had the freedom to split the night feedings. If it was before 2 am, Rodgers would get up. If it was after 2 am, I would get up. (Or was it the other way around? I don't have a clear memory from those time periods...) That way, even if we both woke up when the baby woke, one of us could go back to sleep, and we each got at least half a night's worth of sleep.

nutrition 

Either you have no time to feed yourself and go hungry or you end up eating too much, i.e. all of your toddler's leftovers because they keep saying they're hungry, but are "done" after a bite and a half. It's hard to eat well!

One of my time savers is to prep produce as I put it away. Fruit will be cleaned and put away ready to grab and eat. Veggies will be cleaned, blanched, and frozen, ready to add to a quick recipe later. I don't always stay on top of this, but snacking well and cooking meals are so much easier when I do! We keep healthy snacks like yogurt, boiled eggs, and nuts, too. We also enjoy some not-so healthy snacks in moderation.

exercise

With kids, I feel I have neither the time nor energy to exercise. I've never really liked exercising anyway. However, in the interest of health, I try to stay active and exercise for real a few times per week. I rely on the internet. I don't have time to go to a gym to exercise. I also don't have childcare. My gym is my living room floor, and my trainer is YouTube. I'm not strict about it, though. If I am genuinely tired (or if it's too hot - we don't have a/c), I will skip exercising. It works for me!

Visit the linkup:

end of year!

Today was the first kindergarten graduation ceremony for Nate's school. They did presentations/performances and gave awards certificates for each class before the actual graduation. It was actually lots of fun! The kids had learned a lot of songs and poems to present, and Nate recited a Bible verse all by himself, as well as participating in several of the group poetry recitations. 

We spent a lot of time waiting between different parts of the program.
Here we're keeping Ben occupied with chewing gum and taking pictures.

Teacher Leah gave him a balloon.

And Rodgers read the newspaper

During one of the waiting times, they started up a game of Musical Chairs
for the parents! Rodgers was selected to play in the first group.
He did not win, unfortunately.

Nate's 3rd from the left in this pic, getting set up to recite a poem together!

Nate was not in this one - it was a very cool Giryama folk song and dance.

I was called on to present award certificates for "Best in Language"
for each class. Nate got the award for his class! Rodgers was not
fast enough to take a picture of us, but there we are from a
distance, while they were still getting all of the kids on stage. 

Nate used to go to dance class on Wednesday afternoons, but one day they told us, "Nate says his body won't dance right for dance class. He's in chorale now instead." I thought 'choir,' singing. But actually they memorize and recite poetry as a group. In addition to the chorale verses, each class recited something as a group and sang a song. Also, some of the kids recited poems or Bible verses on their own.

They begin each presentation by saying "On the stage is [either the class, the individual's name, or "Bright Beginnings Kindergarten" if it's the chorale group], ready to recite a poem, entitled ________. Welcome (with a bow)." Then they recite. At the end, and this is my favorite part, they bow again and say, "Pleasure!"

Chorale (with some extras, I think!) learned "I Will Forget" to recite at a music festival in June. We were in Texas, so Nate missed it. However, he got to recite it with the group today! Nate's by the microphone on the left side. The poem talks about letting students learn at their own pace, in their own style, rather than forcing them to learn by rote.



A smaller chorale group (I think this may be the Wednesday group?) presented "6 O'clock," which is a cute poem about a bedtime routine.



KG2 class presented "Education." Education is like an orange situated in a desert, and I am a traveler. Those are oranges they're holding, and even though they're green, they are ripe.



Towards the end of the presentations, Nate got to recite John 1:1. He didn't even seem nervous. I'm so impressed. There were about 100 people watching him.