cross cultural marriage - how to use the restroom in Kenya

This topic is really more cross cultural and less about marriage. My post was inspired by Tupp's post about powdering your nose in the Netherlands. Using the facilities in another country involves so much more than just knowing the word in the local language for "restroom" or "toilet." You may be with people who speak English (or it could be an English speaking country) but there are so many more things to be considered than what it's called. Do you flush for everything or "let it mellow"? Do you put toilet paper in the trash or toilet? In public, do you have to pay to use the toilet or for paper? Should you just always bring your own? (The answer to that one is yes - absolutely!) How do you excuse yourself? Where do you wash your hands afterwards? (Also, always carry antibacterial gel!) Then there's the issue of what kind of toilets to expect.

In Swahili "choo iko wapi?" (the choo has a long o; it's not like a choo-choo train) means "where is the toilet?" and is generally an acceptable way to ask your hosts where you may go. However, if you're at my mother-in-law's house, there is no choo. The literal translation of what you should say to ask where to go is "I need to help myself [small or big]." I don't remember the Swahili for that because I just tell Rodgers in English. Being married into the culture can be an advantage and a handicap. My brother-in-law built a small shelter behind his house where you may go #1. It's just 4 short walls made of sticks, with a doorway (no door or roof). There is no hole in the ground. Men have the advantage here because they can just turn towards a corner and go. Women have to figure out how to squat without getting pee mud on their clothes. If you need to go #2, my suggestion is to hold it until you get back to the city. That's what I do. You can't go #2 in that little hut. I am not brave enough to find out where you go #2 out in the country. You'll want to avoid touching your shoes with your hands either way.

So this leads me to places that actually have a choo. It may be at someone's house, a hotel room, or a public restroom. Many may be BYOTP (bring your own toilet paper), like out in the country is. I can think of 3 types. We'll work from the ground up.

First is what I would call a latrine. It's probably similar in structure to the pee hut at my in-laws'. It may or may not have a door. It may or may not have a ceiling. What it doesn't have is a toilet. It is a hole in the ground. There will be a type of platform on each side of the hole. This is where your feet go as you stand or squat over the hole. There are probably lots of bugs in the hole. And it smells. My advice: do your business and get out.

Next is a squatting toilet. It's different from a latrine in that it's an actual porcelain toilet that can be flushed. (Google squatty potty.) It's just in the floor. I found squatting toilets counter-intuitive. The first few times I used them, I had a lot of trouble with...aiming... I didn't dare try anything but #1. Then I realized I was using them backwards. You don't stand over the hole part of the toilet, you face the hole. Usually this means your back is to the door(way). Used correctly, they really aren't so bad. Going #2 in them isn't bad either. The position is actually quite conducive to moving things along, if you know what I mean. Many times, the flush doesn't work. But, there is almost always either a bucket of water or a spigot nearby, and either of those will have a smaller bucket or cup. This cup is to be filled with water, which you use to flush the toilet when you're done.

Some homes and public facilities (though in many of the public facilities, squatting seems more sanitary) have sitting toilets. The Kenyans call them English toilets. They are quite the luxury. We will have English toilets in our home. I can pee anywhere, but when I get home, I want the comfort of a sitting toilet. Rodgers agrees. And, we'll always have toilet paper readily available, so don't worry about BYOTP at our house.

working mommy wednesday

Prompt #1- Are you an early bird or night owl? When are you most productive?

Both? Neither? I guess it depends on what kind of productivity we're talking about. My body and mind are not in sync right now.

I am absolutely not an early bird. Baby Brother has me waking up early on my days off because I have to puke, and then eat breakfast, before 8. If I have chores to do on Saturdays, I usually do them in mornings, as long as they don't require thought. The brain doesn't function in the a.m., but my body is ready to work. I can be productive with physical things like running errands and cleaning.

I'm not really a night owl, either. These days, my body is tired of moving by about 8, and I can't seem to do any housework after that, nor can I muster the energy to actually leave home and go somewhere. Nate goes to bed at 7:30, and that's a good excuse to make sure we're home by 7, which is my current preferred curfew. Usually, I spend my evenings on the loveseat. If I have things to do that require thought, such as blogging, designing materials for Full Life, or reading something I need to think about and want to remember, I get started on it around 9. My body is tired but my mind is active. I am most productive with creative things at night.

20 weeks - "halfway"

I had my 20 week Dr appt this morning. Baby Brother was awake and swimming around while the nurse practitioner attempted to find his heartrate. He tried to get away, but she got it in the end: 164 bpm. I have gained 6 lbs since 16 weeks, and she approved of that. :) We aren't measuring me yet or doing anything else exciting. Anyway, everything is going just as it should. She feels sorry for me that I still have morning sickness, but since I'm gaining weight, there are no worries about that.

This outfit really emphasizes the bump. Plus, I grew a lot this last week. Probably half of my weight gain from this month was in the past 7 days...

The stats, etc:
How Far Along 20 weeks 1 day
How Big is Baby 10" head to heel; 10.5 oz
Total Weight Gain 11 lbs
Stretch Marks No new ones, that I can tell, but who can really tell amid the roadmap of stretchmarks Nate left me with?
Sleep I'm sleeping well, which is excellent because I am super tired!
Best Moment this Week Not pregnancy related - the best moment is that we're celebrating Rodgers' 35th birthday today! Pregnancy related - Baby Brother now kicks hard enough to see from the outside.
Movement Feeling actual kicks and rolls now.
Food Cravings I have been seeing the purple bag of Wild Berry Skittles in the snack machine at work for weeks now. I've never had that variety of Skittles, but I've been craving them. Finally gave in this week. It was worth it. They are awesome.
Belly Button It is really flattening out, but still an innie.
What I Miss Not having to schedule puke time into my morning routine. I am glad that the morning sickness is now strictly morning sickness, as opposed to the all day misery of the 1st trimester, so I'm not really complaining about my daily morning puke. But, still, it's inconvenient. I also miss being able to remember things.
What I'm Looking Forward To Will I have a memory again one day?
Weekly Wisdom Buying Poise instead of Carefree liners seems intimidating and embarrassing, but it's really not so bad, and they really do help so much more.
Milestones We are halfway there! And, since my Dr won't make me be past due again, I know for sure that I have no more than 20 weeks to go. YES!

QOTW: If I had known I was gonna meet the president I would've worn a tie. Look at me, I look like a schliemiel.