relocating to Kenya: sleep

Everyone knows that when little ones' routine is disturbed, they don't sleep as well. It's to be expected that they would have a hard time transitioning, not just to a new home and different schedule, but also to a new time zone. Kenya is currently 8 hours ahead of Texas, but since we moved before DST, it was a 9 hour adjustment.

We arrived in Mombasa a few minutes past midnight, March 2. Getting to our house took some time, then our friends who brought us home stayed for a while, then the boys were wound up. It was after 3 am before we went to bed. No one had trouble sleeping.

The boys slept until 8 am for the first week, and they did have a harder time than usual going to bed for a few days, but they both took great naps, and hello! I can't remember Nate ever sleeping as late as 8 am, though I'm sure he must have.

Maybe it's because we had such a long, hard trip and we arrived in the middle of the night, or maybe it's because we maintain normal bedtimes and don't let ourselves sleep much during the day while we adjust, or maybe it's because we're just blessed, but we had no trouble with jet lag at all, as far as sleeping goes. Ben had a hard time getting his eating schedule on track. He woke up to eat every night for about the first week. Hey, it could have been a lot more difficult.

In Texas, we had taken the side off of Nate's crib so that he was in a toddler bed. We wanted him to get used to sleeping with no sides because he would have a twin bed here. When Nate's bed was set up, I had to put sheets on it around him because he loved it so much, he refused to get off! He adores his mosquito net, too. The mosquitoes are usually only out at night, and the net is hot, so I don't make him use it during naptime, but many days, he asks for it.

Ben doesn't care one way or the other about his crib or his mosquito net. The crib came with a little bassinet on wheels, which we keep downstairs. He usually naps in there so that I don't have to go up and down the stairs so much. We also use it as a play yard for him when we're outside. He sleeps in his crib at night, but he does not like to fall asleep there. In Texas, his "bedroom" was one corner of the living room. I think it's comforting to him to fall asleep listening to Rodgers and me talking, with the lights on. We put him to bed downstairs in the bassinet, then move him to his crib after he's asleep.

A day in our lives: Thursday, 15 March 2012

12:00 am – We wake up because the electricity has just gone out. It’s noticeable because we sleep with a ceiling fan (which doesn’t do much to get through the mosquito net) and an oscillating floor fan. Rodgers gets up, sprays our windows and those in the boys’ room down with bug spray so that we can open the shades with as few mosquitos coming in as possible. We try to sleep some more, but it’s hot.

5:15 am – Morning prayer wakes us up. We have one mosque close enough to be loud and 2 more that we can hear in the background. Nate wakes up and calls out to us because it scares him. I have been talking to him about the prayers from the mosques. I tell him that it’s someone singing and praying. The guy singing is far away, but very loud so that other people can sing and pray with him. We have been singing “Jesus Loves Me” when we hear it, since that's one of Nate's favorite songs. So Rodgers tells Nate to sing “Jesus Loves Me” and go back to sleep. It apparently works because we don’t hear from him for a while.

6:00 am – The power comes back on. Yay!

6:15 am – Nate is ready to get up. Rodgers gets up with him, and I manage another 20 minutes of snoozing.

6:35 am – I get up, shower, etc, then go downstairs to find Rodgers cooking pancakes. Nate and I eat, then I give him a bath in one of the laundry basins outside while Rodgers showers and eats his own plate of pancakes.

7:00 am – Ben is awake. Rodgers changes his diaper and feeds him his morning bottle. I bring in laundry that has been drying on the line overnight.

8:00 am – Rodgers leaves to find out if our desk is ready to be brought home. It was supposed to have been built over the weekend but the fundi (craftsman) was ill, so they were trying to find someone else to build it. I give Ben a bath, then sit down with a cup of coffee to check emails while the boys play. Normally our housekeeper would arrive now, but she’s been so efficient this week that she really doesn’t have anything to do today, so she’s taking the day off and will come back Friday to finish up our laundry for the week.

9:00 am – I take Nate to the potty and set an alarm for 1 hour to remind me to take him again in case he doesn’t tell me when he needs to go.

9:30 am – Ben starts getting fussy, but it’s not time for nap, yet, so I feed him his morning snack early. It’s peas and a bottle. He falls asleep before he finishes his bottle.

10:00 am – The potty alarm goes off. I take Nate to the potty. He asks for chips for snack; I tell him no. Then he asks for an apple, so I cut one up for him. He eats almost half of the apple.

10:30 am – Nate poops in his undies. At least he tells me right away! I clean him up; he tells me, “Thank you, Mama.” Then Rodgers comes home. The desk is not finished.

10:55 am – Nate wants to pee.

11:00 am – Nate tells me he wants to go to bed. It was an early morning, so he needs an early nap. We go lay down on my bed (he prefers to nap in the big bed), and he falls asleep. The potty alarm goes off again because I forgot to turn it off when Nate peed on his own. He's napping in undies for the first time – and in my bed! This is scary. I put a waterproof pad under him just in case.

11:30 am – Ben wakes up ready for lunch. He eats bananas and has a bottle, then is ready to play.

12:00 pm – I check the laundry that was still wet this morning, bring in some more dry clothes, then fold and put away. Rodgers and I make plans for the afternoon.

1:00 pm – Nate is stirring when I check on him, so I wake him up all the way. Ben is ready for a nap again, but he will wait until we leave for our afternoon errands. We eat lunch, then get Nate dressed (and exchange undies for a diaper), pack our diaper bag and get in the car. Ben naps the whole way.

2:30 pm – We arrive at the side-of-the-road copy place. Our friend works there, taking pictures. He takes passport photos for all of us. The boys are applying for Kenyan passports, Rodgers needs to renew his passport, and I need passport photos for my dependent’s pass application. Nate’s the hardest to get a picture of, but our friend has a good idea. He tells Nate to go on a walk with him. A coworker walks behind Nate, holding a sheet behind his head for the background of the photo. Our friend walks in front, backwards, and keeps snapping pictures until he gets a usable one. We are impressed! Then we get copies made of the documentation that needs to go with our applications. The copier/printer is quite slow. Nate has a snack of something like seasoned shoestring potatoes, and Ben has a bottle.

4:15 pm – We head over to the nearest Nakumat (Kenyan WalMart). We need a new mosquito net for our bed (the one that we’re using was here when we moved in and has holes in it), and we want to check out what kind of snacks they have. We’re still looking for a substitute for a certain snack that Nate loves.

5:00 pm – We come out of Nakumat. Nate’s pants are soaking wet because we forgot to change his diaper. I put a dry diaper and clean shorts on him, and we head back home.

5:30 pm – We’re still on the road, but nearly home. It’s time to eat, but it’s too late to start cooking. We stop at a new pizza place that we’ve tried before. It’s expensive compared to local restaurants. It costs about $10 to feed the 3 of us. Nate had turned his water bottle upside down in the car and shook it until a big puddle formed in his seat. So his spare pants are now soaking wet, too. He's just going to have to stay wet this time.

6:30 pm – We get home. Ben has supper of apples in cereal with a bottle. Nate plays with blocks.

7:15 pm – It’s time for the boys to get ready for bed. Nate gets a snack, and I read 4 books to him as usual. Rodgers gets Ben ready for bed. Nate and I make 2 trips downstairs to give Daddy a kiss.

7:30 pm – Nate brushes his teeth, washes his face and hands, and gets in bed. We say bedtime prayers. He knows that it’s almost time to hear the evening prayers, so he wants me to stay in bed with him until it’s over. I talk to him again about what he’s hearing. When the prayers start, we sing “Jesus Loves Me” and cuddle. When the prayers are over, I leave Nate to fall asleep on his own.

8:00 pm – Coming downstairs, I find Ben and Rodgers both asleep on the couch. How sweet! I put my feet up and check my email again.

9:00 pm – It was an early morning and a rough night, so we are ready for bed! We’re too tired to wash dishes tonight, and all that's dirty are bottles, cups, and our lunch dishes. Instead of washing, we just gather them all, rinse them, and leave them in the sink. I go upstairs and rinse out diapers from the afternoon and evening. Rodgers is already in bed. I brush my teeth, lay down, and fall asleep right away.

We're here

We arrived in Kenya in the middle of the night Thursday/Friday morning. We have been super busy since arriving, considering we moved into an unfurnished home, bringing with us only 6 suitcases!

No time for a proper post, but I have posted pics. I think I did a good enough job with the captions for this to serve as a blog post. :D

our trip
moving in
unclassified :)

separation anxiety?

A friend (J) graciously volunteered to watch the boys last night. Rodgers and I had not been planning on going out, but we had no problem coming up with a last-minute date night!

Nate was great. He's the one I worry about with babysitters because he is so afraid of strangers and grown-ups who aren't strangers but also are not his parents or grandparents. Also, J had never babysat Nate before. But he was not a problem at all. Bedtime is probably the easiest time of day with Nate because his bedtime routine is so ingrained in him. The rest of the day is too unpredictable to create such a rigid routine. Well, maybe if I were Supermom I could.

Ben was apparently fine until it got close to bedtime, then he just couldn't be happy. J said she tried to feed him his bedtime bottle. He started eating, then decided he'd rather cry. She rocked him. He started to fall asleep, then decided to cry some more. She would soothe him, then he'd look at her and start crying. She'd put him in bed, then he'd cry. She was afraid he was coming down with something. She's taken care of him before, and he's always so happy.

We came home to a crying Ben. I picked him up and he immediately transformed into his usual, happy, bubbly self. He smiled. He laughed. He talked to me. Rodgers took him and fed him. He ate just fine. He just didn't want J to put him to bed!

He's young for separation anxiety, but that seems to be the culprit.

Now, come to think of it, I remember that the past few days he has gotten upset anytime I'm out of his range of vision. I was packing a box on the kitchen table the other day. He was in the bouncy chair, facing me and teething on the many toys I'd put within his reach. I walked across to the living room, just a few feet away in this apartment, but behind him. As soon as he couldn't see me, he cried the most heartbroken, high pitched (but soft) little cry. It was so sad. I have to keep talking if I'm going to be where he can't see me.

relocating via airplane

For those of you who don't follow Maisha Kamili, we have reached our initial fundraising goal and will be moving to Kenya on February 29. Fundraising is ongoing, as we don't yet have enough to buy land or build the children's home. We do have enough to establish ourselves in country and begin looking for a location.

We looked into the cost of shipping a palette or crate of our stuff over there. We learned that it is cheaper to buy all new furniture (and stuff!) in Kenya. Our luggage allowance is 2 51-lb checked bags each for Rodgers, Nate, and myself and 1 20ish-lb checked bag for Ben (he doesn't have his own seat). All of us get one carry-on bag and one "personal item." This sounds like a lot of bags until you consider that this will be *all* of our possessions that we're taking with us. I much prefer traveling light, with only bare minimum essentials, but our bare minimum is quite a bit more this time than if we were just taking a trip.

As the mom and wife, it is my job to organize, plan, test, and pack. We have 2 checked bags planned, test packed, weighed, and repacked. We have 2 checked bags that are partially packed, but not completely because we are still using some things that will go in them. And the remaining 2 checked bags plus the carry-ons are thus far only planned. We aren't planning to use Ben's checked bag allowance, but we do have a bag set aside just in case we have an extra 20 lbs of stuff we want to take with us. It's also possible we may prioritize one or two bags as "nice to have" rather than "essential" and leave them with someone to bring to us. This would make transferring terminals in Nairobi less stressful.

Three scenarios for when we arrive:

Scenario 1, which has been our Plan A, is to have a rent house waiting for us when we land. Our nephew will secure it on our behalf and put a bed and a case of bottled water in it for us so that we can survive the first night (we arrive around midnight). Day 1 in Kenya, we have to get phones and internet connection, buy a refrigerator, stove, beds for the boys, basic cookware, dishes, cutlery, and linens. The remainder of the week would be spent shopping for the next-highest priority appliances, furniture, and furnishings.

Scenario 2, which is looking better and better, is that we go to a hotel when we first get there. In this scenario we don't have to do so much shopping right off the bat, but we would have to move again once we have a rent house, and of course we'd have expenses for the hotel. However, we would be able to see and choose the rent house ourselves. We could stay in the hotel for the first few days we have the rent house so that we can get essentials moved in before we move ourselves in.

Scenario 3 would be like scenario 2, except that we'd live with someone. Living with people is not preferred, but it is cheaper than a hotel!